A Geprek Generation Story

In your 30s, things that you would worry about it’s no more about why people “ghost” on you. But, now it’s more like, can I pay my debt and pay later later?

Admit it, nowadays not all people in their 30s have a steady job—the spike of start-up jobs where the company always broke and made people lose their day-to-day jobs. A covid situation where people get laid off and hard to find a job quickly. Even when people have 5 and 10 years already working jobs, the company pays them with a shitty paycheck.

Primarily, social media pressure is where we are “forced to” be consumptive. Then paylater and credit card happened.

The vicious cycle that makes us CAN’T EVEN AFFORD A DECENT HOUSE, A CAR, OR AN EMERGENCY FUND.

Why are we here? Despite the bubble of the economy that makes houses high up, the fact that we are young and have money that we don’t have and want to impress people that we are hate makes us reckless with money management.

Don’t let me start with people like me that need to provide a whole family. Paying my parent’s debt, helped my sister go to college, and my personal money problem.

What would I be? Of course, I’m one of the GEPREK GENERATIONS in this nation.

What is a Geprek Generation, you may ask?

My definition of Geprek Generation, like “Geprek” meaning itself-“smashed” or “crushed.” It’s similar to the sandwich generations, but I make it local.

The situation hardly makes people like me have a safety net but myself. We work harder than everyone. And whenever we want to enjoy our money, it’s hard not to think about selfishness and wasteful.

The finish line is always going further whenever I want to reach them.

It’s tiring, time-consuming, and hurts my confidence.

Speaking of jobs that give me money every month, I have my own story.

Since my early career, I have been working in a start-up company. For six years, everything seems okay. I got a good salary, love my jobs, and have the work-life balance I wanted.

Until Covid happened, during two years of Covid, I’ve been two times being laid off. First, because my company was running out of capital, and second because the company sucks. They don’t know what they are doing.

You know how it feels when you were being laid off on short notice without any compensation, still, have no job in the nearest time, and NO EMERGENCY FUNDS AT ALL?

IT’S A NERVE-WRACKING JOURNEY.

You want to die. Seriously.

So many debts, so little money you have.

It’s not like I’m so stupid managing my salary. But, because of the Geprek Generatios situation, where I can’t even save money. Can you imagine providing five people, including yourself? Not yet the debts that cost you 50% of your salary.

It’s hard, men. Don’t tell me otherwise.

And like what I said before, it’s affecting my confidence. If you are ever being laid off, you will be self-aware or have a hunch about when the company will sink or the time when your CEO will call you and say you no longer work in the company.

Whenever I do something terrible, I constantly get a nervous breakdown episode. I’ll have the scary scenario where I need to die, or I can’t give food on the table anymore. It’s hurt me because I love to work. I love to stay productive.

But, in the past two years, it seems like I always have a short run instead of a marathon.

Like what happened today, it’s only four months, and the first global company I work for decided to shut down. Luckily, I’ve been moved to the new project. But, trust me, it’s not that simple. I am saying goodbye to my team and starting something in the middle where everyone it’s rushing me. It’s very uneasy.

I want to have a stable life where I don’t need to open LinkedIn every three months to apply for jobs that I don’t even like.

I’m good at what I’m doing. I believe it. Heck, I even have 3 to 4 freelances to help me pay my debts.

It’s not fair if I have to work under the fear that I can lay off in the next few minutes because of one or two mistakes.

But, as we know, life is never fair since the beginning.

After a good crying and emotional eating, I said to myself. Why do I worry?

Can I survive this? OF COURSE, I CAN. I have no time to drown in sadness. I embrace the situation and I let that fucking nerve-wracking go.

Whatever will be, will be.

I believe that I can overcome this shitty situation as I did before. And my extrovert/Arian/sanguine ass myself would never….. give up easily.

Wish me luck!

ps: And for those of you who are in the same position, believe me, the universe always has a way to save you. Just believe in it.

The image of Ayam Gerprek as a context.

Sudah Jatuh, Tertimpa Buldozer Pula

Itu lah 2021 versi gue.

Dimulai dari Bokap sakit yang parah banget berkali-kali dan menghabiskan uang tabungan gue (which I’m not complaining, but that’s the fact). Lalu nabung kembali untuk mendapati gue gantian yang sakit sampai ga bisa bangun berhari-hari. DUA KALI.

Karena GERD dan out of nowhere syaraf belakang gue kejepit.

Plot twist 2021 ga berhenti sampai di situ dong. Nyokap yang menjadi downline suatu tabungan yang menjanjikan keuntungan berkali-kali lipat ke orang kena apes karena duit yang dia setor selama setahun ke bosnya ga bisa cair. Bahkan untuk balikin modalnya. Tau ga ada berapa orang yang nyokap ajak?

1000 orang lebih.

Tau ga uang yang harus nyokap sediain dalam 3 periode (akhir april, 7 hari sebelum lebaran, dan bulan September) berapa? 1,5 MILIYAR.

Dan yang harus bayar siapa? Tentu saja aku.

Aku yang bahkan tidak tau ini apa dan tiba-tiba harus bertanggung jawab menanggung itu semua karena ya siapa lagi lah?

Tentu saja gue ga bisa punya uang sebanyak itu. Gue cuma bisa bayarin 15% dari uang yang harus nyokap kasih ke orang-orang banyak itu. Kami sekeluarga ngegadein surat rumah keluarga ke bank. Dan gue bayar cicilan selama 30 bulan sebesar 40% dari total gaji gue. Belum lagi gue harus bayar cicilan KPR rumah gue, bayar kuliah dan kosan adek gue si eneng, bulanan sekeluarga dan hutang-hutang lainnya.

Gue pikir, ok lah gak apa-apa karena toh gue punya kerjaan tetap yang ngegaji gue tiap bulan.

Tapi, 2021 memang spesial banget buat gue.

Gajian bulan April gue telat meski dibayar full, namun gue punya pertanda ga enak. Lalu pas THR datang, company cuma bisa bayar 50% aja dan telepon dari bos gue datang dan dia bilang….

Gaji bulan mei dipotong 20% dan sisa THR dibayar bulan depannya.

Itu pun masih diusahakan because they are running out of cash.

Gue lemes.

Gue udah ga tau mau bereaksi apa.

Gue udah ga punya tabungan lagi, gue udah bayarin semuanya buat keluarga gue. Like every penny of it. Gue bahkan belum lunasin iPad yang gue beli dari Alo.

Sepanjang delapan tahun gue kerja, gue selalu mengedepankan kebutuhan keluarga gue.

Gue selalu mikirin adek gue dan orang tua gue.

Orang-orang taunya gaji gue lumayan, padahal gue cuma nikmatin 10% nya doang.

Gue ga ngeluhin itu, gue nikmatin. Tapi di saat di tahun ini semua terasa against me, gue nyerah juga. Gue mau mengeluhkan itu. I’m not okay.

Gue tentu saja jadi tidak terlalu fokus pada pekerjaan. Client gue marah karena ga achive target. Gue sudah mengerjakan sebisa gue, meski seharusnya gue bisa lebih. Tapi energi dan fokus gue lagi ga ke sana.

Pertahanan gue untuk waras kian kopong tiap harinya.

Gue akuin gue bersyukur masih punya kerjaan meski kena cut. Tapi, company ini ga tau bertahan sampai kapan. Bisa ngelewatin bulan Juni aja udah sebuah keajaiban kata bos gue. Dead end right?

Gue udah submit banyak lowongan, most likely cuma ghosting dan rejecting.

Jujur gue takut.

Gue udah ga bisa merasakan sedih lagi, karena sekarang yang gue rasain cuma kebas. Mati rasa.

Gue masih pengin percaya dengan kata-kata “Tuhan ga akan kasih cobaan ke umatnya melebihi yang ia bisa.”

Gue juga masih pengin percaya dengan kata-kata “All iz well, this one shall pass too.”

Tapi kapan?

Semua dikotomi kontrol yang gue pelajarin terasa useless. Betul memang semua masalah ini di luar kendali gue. Namun ada deadline di sana. Cicilan, hutang, kebutuhan sehari-hari. Yang di mana kalau telat bayar dendanya makin gede. Kalau gue ga punya kerjaan bayarnya gimana nanti?

Hal yang selama delapan tahun ga pernah gue worry karena gue merasa akan gampang nyari kerja dan selalu ada gaji tiap bulannya, kini pelan-pelan ninggalin gue.

Jujur hidup becanda banget kali ini dan gue benar-benar ga tau harus apa. I’m not okay, and I want to giving up. For real.

Senin Kelabu

Namanya juga single, pasti ada masa-masa ingin ditemani, ingin dicintai, ingin ada yang mendengarkan.

Seperti hari ini.

Kok hati rasanya murung sekali. Mungkin karena efek kurang tidur semalam, mungkin juga karena hari ini adalah Senin.

Entahlah, rasanya kok moodku hari ini kelabu sekali.

Lalu satu email datang dari sebuah Bank. Aku buka, aku masukkan password, dan pantas saja hari ini aku bete setengah mati.

Ternyata aku harus bayar tagihan kartu kredit.

Huff, dasar millennials misqin!

Mau gaya tapi males bayar (mungkin itu yang ada dalam benak si Bank saat aku hanya mampu membayar setengah dari tagihan bulan lalu).

Lagipula aku harus bayar cicilan liburan untuk tengah tahun nanti. Oh, Lord, jeratan hutang tiada akhir.