A Geprek Generation Story

In your 30s, things that you would worry about it’s no more about why people “ghost” on you. But, now it’s more like, can I pay my debt and pay later later?

Admit it, nowadays not all people in their 30s have a steady job—the spike of start-up jobs where the company always broke and made people lose their day-to-day jobs. A covid situation where people get laid off and hard to find a job quickly. Even when people have 5 and 10 years already working jobs, the company pays them with a shitty paycheck.

Primarily, social media pressure is where we are “forced to” be consumptive. Then paylater and credit card happened.

The vicious cycle that makes us CAN’T EVEN AFFORD A DECENT HOUSE, A CAR, OR AN EMERGENCY FUND.

Why are we here? Despite the bubble of the economy that makes houses high up, the fact that we are young and have money that we don’t have and want to impress people that we are hate makes us reckless with money management.

Don’t let me start with people like me that need to provide a whole family. Paying my parent’s debt, helped my sister go to college, and my personal money problem.

What would I be? Of course, I’m one of the GEPREK GENERATIONS in this nation.

What is a Geprek Generation, you may ask?

My definition of Geprek Generation, like “Geprek” meaning itself-“smashed” or “crushed.” It’s similar to the sandwich generations, but I make it local.

The situation hardly makes people like me have a safety net but myself. We work harder than everyone. And whenever we want to enjoy our money, it’s hard not to think about selfishness and wasteful.

The finish line is always going further whenever I want to reach them.

It’s tiring, time-consuming, and hurts my confidence.

Speaking of jobs that give me money every month, I have my own story.

Since my early career, I have been working in a start-up company. For six years, everything seems okay. I got a good salary, love my jobs, and have the work-life balance I wanted.

Until Covid happened, during two years of Covid, I’ve been two times being laid off. First, because my company was running out of capital, and second because the company sucks. They don’t know what they are doing.

You know how it feels when you were being laid off on short notice without any compensation, still, have no job in the nearest time, and NO EMERGENCY FUNDS AT ALL?

IT’S A NERVE-WRACKING JOURNEY.

You want to die. Seriously.

So many debts, so little money you have.

It’s not like I’m so stupid managing my salary. But, because of the Geprek Generatios situation, where I can’t even save money. Can you imagine providing five people, including yourself? Not yet the debts that cost you 50% of your salary.

It’s hard, men. Don’t tell me otherwise.

And like what I said before, it’s affecting my confidence. If you are ever being laid off, you will be self-aware or have a hunch about when the company will sink or the time when your CEO will call you and say you no longer work in the company.

Whenever I do something terrible, I constantly get a nervous breakdown episode. I’ll have the scary scenario where I need to die, or I can’t give food on the table anymore. It’s hurt me because I love to work. I love to stay productive.

But, in the past two years, it seems like I always have a short run instead of a marathon.

Like what happened today, it’s only four months, and the first global company I work for decided to shut down. Luckily, I’ve been moved to the new project. But, trust me, it’s not that simple. I am saying goodbye to my team and starting something in the middle where everyone it’s rushing me. It’s very uneasy.

I want to have a stable life where I don’t need to open LinkedIn every three months to apply for jobs that I don’t even like.

I’m good at what I’m doing. I believe it. Heck, I even have 3 to 4 freelances to help me pay my debts.

It’s not fair if I have to work under the fear that I can lay off in the next few minutes because of one or two mistakes.

But, as we know, life is never fair since the beginning.

After a good crying and emotional eating, I said to myself. Why do I worry?

Can I survive this? OF COURSE, I CAN. I have no time to drown in sadness. I embrace the situation and I let that fucking nerve-wracking go.

Whatever will be, will be.

I believe that I can overcome this shitty situation as I did before. And my extrovert/Arian/sanguine ass myself would never….. give up easily.

Wish me luck!

ps: And for those of you who are in the same position, believe me, the universe always has a way to save you. Just believe in it.

The image of Ayam Gerprek as a context.

Mengubah Kebiasaan Kecil

Di masa Covid seperti ini, hal-hal kecil terkait rasa sakit di mulut dan tenggorokan bisa jadi sesuatu yang menakutkan.

Tujuh bulan terakhir sejak saya menempati kamar yang lebih kecil dengan posisi AC yang langsung membungkus tubuh saya dengan rasa dingin, seringnya membuat saya bangun tidur dengan kondisi tenggorokan super kering yang tidak enak dan sedikit rasa sakit di mulut.

Seperti ada luka di atap-atap mulut saya. Mau saya basahkan dengan minuman hangat ataupun dingin, rasa kering itu tetap menempel.

Kebetulan beberapa hari lalu saya sudah ada janji dengan dokter gigi untuk pembersihan rutin karang gigi. Sepanjang pembersihan karang gigi dokter itu bertanya tentang imunitas dan pola makan saya.

Karena kebetulan dia melihat ada sisa sariawan di bibir bawah saya. Saya ingat bahwa sariawan itu datang dari secara tidak sengaja saya kepentok iPhone yang jatuh tepat ke mulut saya saat menonton dengan posisi tidur.

Dokter gigi itu pun tersenyum lega.

Setelah selesai dengan proses pembersihan karang gigi tersebut, dokter itu mempersilahkan saya untuk berkonsultasi hal lain sebelum saya pulang.

Lalu saya pun bertanya perihal kondisi mulut dan kerongkongan saya yang kering setiap bangun tidur.

Lalu dengan cepat dokter itu bilang bahwa saya punya kebiasaan bernafas lewat mulut bukan hidung.

Saya bingung, karena saya sendiri tidak sadar dengan hal tersebut.

Ia menjelaskan karena saya bernafas lewat mulut, maka dengan tidur yang menganga akan membuat udara AC yang masuk ke mulut dengan mudah membuat mulut saya kering. Karena kondisinya yang terbuka terus.

Saya mengangguk setuju sambil berusaha menyadari bahwa kali ini saya sudah menghirup dan menghembuskan nafas lewat saluran hidung.

Lucu sekali, saya pikir saya sudah melakukan pernafasan dengan benar. Tidak tahunya saya salah selama ini.

Mungkin alasan mengapa saya bernafas lewat mulut karena sinus saya yang menggangu. Membuat hidung saya sering pilek dan tersumbat ga jelas. Yang membuat saya bahkan dalam kondisi terbangun sekalipun sering terdengar seperti sedang mengorok. Ga enak deh.

Sepulangnya dari klinik gigi tersebut saya coba untuk terus menerus mempraktikan bernafas lewat hidung, sampai saya pun tertidur (yang mana saya sudah meniatkan untuk tidak membuka mulut saya).

Hasilnya?

Besok pagi saya sudah tidak mengalami sensasi kering di mulut dan tenggorokan lagi. Tidur saya jadi lebih nyenyak dan bangun tidur jadi lebih menyenangkan tanpa sakit sama sekali.

Wow, hanya dengan mengubah kebiasaan kecil dengan benar ternyata dapat menyelamatkan saya dari radang tenggorokan yang mengganggu tiap harinya.

Saya jadi ingat ajaran Mas Adji Santoso perihal latihan bernafas.

Untuk menjadi mindfulness, bisa dimulai dengan latihan bernafas, breath in – breath out. Merasakan di sini dan kini. In the present moment, counting our second through breathing. Jika saya sedang panik, saya sering menerapkan itu. Dan lamat-lamat rasa panik itu memudar karena saya memilih untuk tenang lewat tempo nafas yang lebih teratur.

Ternyata baru mengetahui satu dua teknik bernafas yang benar saja sudah dapat mengubah hidup ya. Jadi, penasaran dengan teknik bernafas lainnya deh.

gambar dari google